* * Anonymous Doc: "Are you looking to meet someone?"

Friday, March 30, 2012

"Are you looking to meet someone?"

Woman, 75, wanders into the ER, confused. I'm assigned the admission.

"Do you know what year it is?"

"Nineteen eighty... something...."

"A little later... Twenty..."


"Okay, great. And the month?"

"I know this. It was just my birthday, and my birthday's in August. So, August."

"Nope, it's March."

"Okay, I was close."

"And the President...?"


"Okay, not quite."

"I'll tell you something. I have a granddaughter. She's very pretty. Are you looking to meet someone?"

"Let's worry about you and not me for a minute, okay?"

"She's in college."

"I'm a little past college. Now do you know why you ended up in the hospital?"

"Something must have happened. Maybe I fell?"

"There's no evidence you fell..."

"Do you like food? Because she's a very good cook, my granddaughter."

"I want to figure out what's going on with you, not your granddaughter. Do you take any pills?"

"I have a big pill I take every day. My husband knows the name. Do you know my husband?"

"I don't."

"But you know my granddaughter, right? Because if you don't, I want to introduce you."

"Do you know if you have high blood pressure? Diabetes?"

"That sounds familiar. I can show you a picture of my granddaughter."

"Do you carry a medication list?"

"I carry a picture of my granddaughter."

"Do you know how I could reach your husband?"

"I do, but he's going to be very angry if you're trying to steal me away. I think my granddaughter would be a lot better for you."

"I'm going to try and reach your husband. You stay here."

"Of course I'll stay here. Now, just between you and me-- where am I?"


  1. Tragically, this is many elderly people's story.

  2. "You know, you and my son are pretty close in age... He's quite handsome and is finishing college. Are you married or anything?"

    "Yeah, I have this big ring here on my finger."

    "Are you sure though? He is very handsome and smart. You would like him."

    "I already like my partner...."

    This has come from nurses, unit clerks, and patients' parents/grandparents.