"But it's only my wife and one other!"

"Doc, my erections are very weak. I need a prescription for Viagra."

"How long has this been going on?"

"About six years."

"And you're asking now because...?"

"I am, uh, trying to do sex more often."

"Are you having sex with men, women, or both?"

"Doc, I have a wife, I am married. I have sex with women. I need the Viagra for sex with my wife, and sex with my mistress."

"Are you using any sort of protection?"

"My mistress takes, uh, the birth control pills."

"I mean protection against sexually transmitted infections. Are you using condoms?"

"It's not a problem, it is only the two of them. The wife and the mistress. No infections."

"You could be passing infections around. It doesn't matter that it's only two of them. You should be using protection."

"They don't have infections."

"How do you know your mistress doesn't sleep with other men?"

"Oh, she would never do that. She is a good person."

"You realize you can never know for sure. That's why protection is so important."

"I know for sure. If my mistress was sleeping around, I would find a new one."