"No, sir, your cervix is just fine."

"So, my wife was diagnosed with chlamydia," said my clinic patient. "And her doctor said maybe she got it from me. Which seems a little crazy, since she's the only woman I've ever been with."

"Hmmmm."

"Apparently she also has gonorrhea. Could I have given her that too?"

"Ummmm. And you've been with no one else?"

"Nope."

"And she...?"

"Oh, she would never cheat on me."

"Okay..."

"They put me on antibiotics, just to be safe."

"Sure, because they wouldn't want the two of you passing these things back and forth...."

"Her doctor also said she has some pre-cancerous changes on her cervix."

"Hmmmm."

"Am I at risk for that too?"