No, fellow resident, I don't want to go to happy hour with you.
I know that makes you think I'm anti-social, but, really, I'm just tired of talking about medicine and would rather talk about anything but that thing you found inside that patient yesterday. And even though nothing is forcing us to talk about medicine at the happy hour, I know from previous happy hour experiences that medicine is all that will be talked about, and I will want to leave four minutes after I arrive, will instead stay for an hour, and will feel contaminated by dirty gossip when I finally get to leave.
I would rather watch The Voice. Which is saying a lot, because I find The Voice pretty unwatchable, and end up spending most of the episodes trying to diagnose various psychiatric illnesses in the contestants and judges. Narcissism is a good default if nothing else comes to mind. Borderline personality disorder. Antisocial personality disorder. Different (of course) from the anti-social behavior I exhibit by avoiding the happy hour.
One of my fellow residents asked me if I would give her a guy's perspective on her OK Cupid profile. I am trying to decide if that means she likes me. She also asked my opinion about something to do with treatment for a patient with scabies, which is the opposite of what you would talk about with someone you like, whether as a friend or more than that.
And you know what makes happy hour especially not happy? Everyone always talks mostly about patients who have died. Talking about dead patients is not my idea of happy. Talking about live patients isn't awesome either, but dead ones, really, not happy.
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I agree with this 100%. Before I went away for research, all of my friends were residents. We only talked about work, blood and guts and poop. Terrible dinner conversation. And then we would gossip about the other residents and attendings. It is very toxic. I used to just go out and strike up conversations with strangers so that I could talk about "normal stuff" They probably thought I was a weirdo. I vow to make actual friends based on my interest OUTSIDE of the hospital.
ReplyDeleteAlso, that girl totally likes you! Who can't figure out how to treat scabies?? I used to call the Neurosurg resident, who I had a SUPER crush on, for all sorts of stupid stuff. Don't review her OKStupid profile. Just take her out.
Find a good HH spot for yourself. There are some great drink/food specials and sitting at the bar by yourself is not a bad way to decompress after a day/week/several_weeks of work. (I am aware of the connotation associated with drinking alone at a bar, just stay CAGE neg x4)
ReplyDeleteYour fellow residents don't sound like anyone I'd want to hang around with after work, either.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone else think that OKCupid and Match dot com and the like are signs that you're dealing with weirdos who can't get a date in real life? I know things have changed, but it still seems icky and desperate.
(By the way, my previous offer of building a fort on the couch and watching movies still stands.)
(Because inviting an anonymous blogger to come over and hang out is totally normal, right?)
I don't know, Ann Onny. I think that online dating is a good way to blow your social circle wide open and meet people you otherwise might not have. There are a lot of freaks online, but then there are in any other situation, too. Either way, I think that it's a good idea to only online date locally--who wants to travel across the country to meet?!--and to meet up in real life ASAP. You never know if you'll like someone in person.
DeleteAlso, Anon Doc--I know you don't want to share too much of your personal life here, and that's completely understandable, but I for one really like it. Can I request a post for someday? How about things for non-medical people to keep in mind when dating residents? It's helpful to read assurances about hours etc., and would be helpful to hear what would be...well, helpful to someone in that situation. Just an idea. :)
Wait. I don't understand how you could not want to hang out after your shift. I mean, on ER they always went over to that diner that was directly across from the ER so they could get all moody and deep over a cup of coffee and some pie. It seemed so natural.
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