* * Anonymous Doc: Mr. Wallamazzani... or is he?

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Mr. Wallamazzani... or is he?

Attending: "So this next patient is Mr. Wallamazzani. He was brought in last night, drunk and passed out on the street. Going through alcohol withdrawal. Claims to have recently been in rehab, but we called the place he said he had treatment, and they have no record of him. He also claims that he's been here before, but he's not in the system. So either he's lying, or, well, he's lying. I don't think there's another possibility."

[We enter his room]

"Mr. Wallamazzani?"

[No response]

"Mr. Wallamazzani? Are you awake?"

"Who? Me?"

"Yes. You. Mr. Wallamazzani."

"Why does everyone keep calling me that?"

"Is that not your name? It's the name on your bracelet."

"I don't care what it says on my bracelet. My name is Williams."

"Then why does it say Wallamazzani on your bracelet?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"


[On the phone with the admissions desk]

"Yeah, we have a Mr. Williams, but his bracelet is wrong. It says he's Mr. Wallamazzani. I don't know if he got someone else's bracelet, or---?"

"No, no. I dealt with Wallamazzani when they brought him in. You know, he was drunk, slurring his words, no ID. I just wrote down what it sounded like he was saying his name was."

"So you started a record for a new patient and just tried to guess his name from what he was saying, without making sure that was actually his name...?"


"OK. Thanks."

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