* * Anonymous Doc: The least physical physical exam

Thursday, January 5, 2012

The least physical physical exam

"So, med student, you saw your patient this morning?"

"Yep. Absolutely."

"And how was he doing?"

"Said he was feeling great."

"And the physical exam?"

"He said he was feeling great."

"Okay... and the physical exam?"

"I didn't do one. He said he was feeling great."

"And what if he had a problem he didn't know about? Some new crackles in the lungs? Swelling? Tenderness?"


"Yeah, it's good if they say they're feeling great. You still have to do the physical exam. Did you at least look at his chest?"

"He had the gown on."

"Yeah, you can move the gown."

"I didn't want to bother him."

"He has a rash on his chest. It's okay to move the gown to look at the rash."

"He said it was getting better."

"You need to look at it."

"So I should go do that after this?"


"I'm allowed to see him twice in one day?"

"He's your patient. You're allowed to see him as many times as you need to. Spend the day with him if you think you should. Get to know him. He's your patient."

"So we're not limited by insurance just to see him once?"

"We're not limited by anything to go see our patients in the hospital, no."

"I just wanted to make sure, so I don't get in trouble."

"You won't get in trouble for seeing your patients."

"Okay. I'll write that down."


  1. OMG....you have the same med student as I do!

  2. Med students. Blog fodder for the ages. :D

    Keep 'em coming and be strong - you will survive!

  3. LOL! That was probably me on my first day of 3rd year...

  4. Hey, at least the student didn't lie to you and say he did a physical exam when he didn't....

  5. oh god your blog just got so great. these are GREAT.

  6. It's actually sort of horrifying that he thought that medical insurance was more important than his duty as a doctor. I hope you get that idea out of his head fast!

    - KrisW

  7. oh dear. makes you really want to just smack them silly, eh?

  8. Hilarious post, love it. I'm a nurse at a teaching hospital, and once a med student started to go into a pt's room and then just suddenly stopped. I asked him what was wrong, and he pointed to the "No Visitors" sign on the door. ha ha, I assured him that he was not a visitor but an important part of the pt's care and would be allowed in the room. :)

  9. I sort of hope that our doctors write things about us like this. That would at least mean that all my stupidity doesn't go to waste.
    Fortunately I cam laugh along in this case and say that I have never done this before. My problem is remembering to close the curtains when a patient has to undress for an exam.

  10. Most of the time when I read your posts I think, Anony Doc is exaggerating, here. I can actually see this happening. This makes me wonder - are your other stories exaggerations or implausible truths?

  11. Hi!Solitary Diner recommended your post. I lurve this post. This is very much like my student staff where I work, but I hope your students improve more quickly than my students :)

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