* * Anonymous Doc: No, that definitely was *not* the highlight of your nurse's day...

Friday, January 20, 2012

No, that definitely was *not* the highlight of your nurse's day...

"Funny story, doc," said my 350-pound patient with an oozing stage 2 pressure sore on his backside. "I got a new nurse today. He said he was gay. So I bet it was the highlight of his day to change my dressing back there. He probably enjoyed it."

"Sir, I don't think anyone would enjoy anything about that, and I think it's inappropriate and insulting for you to make comments like that. We're all professionals trying to do our best to treat you, and you should realize it's in your best interest to treat us with the same respect you'd like to be treated with."

"Fair enough. But I think the women enjoy it too."

"Sir, no one enjoys dealing with your pressure sore. We deal with it because it's our job and we're trying to help you. But I assure you, dealing with open wounds is not anyone's favorite part of this job."

"Come on, how bad can it be back there?"

"Instead of answering that, I'm going to leave the room and go see another patient. You should be appreciative of the care you're getting. Have a good day."


  1. It never ceases to astound me how men can, even when they have hit their expiry date and well surpassed their shelf life, can think that they are even remotely attractive to anyone.

    I almost threw up. =^@

  2. As a nurse I totally appreciate this post.

    I hate stupid snarky covertly (or overtly) sexually inappropriate things people think its okay to say to the nurses that take care of them.

    Some of it, I laugh off. ("will you come home with me and be my personal nurse?" said with a dirty smirk).

    Some of it (old penile implant man talking about his supposed conquests) just makes me sick.

    Or, how bout:
    pt: I like you Indian girls
    me: that's nice sir but I'm not Indian
    pt: will you get me coffee
    me: yes, I'll be right back
    pt: okay....I love you!
    me: ok sir, youre going to have to STOP talking to me this way