"Funny story, doc," said my 350-pound patient with an oozing stage 2 pressure sore on his backside. "I got a new nurse today. He said he was gay. So I bet it was the highlight of his day to change my dressing back there. He probably enjoyed it."
"Sir, I don't think anyone would enjoy anything about that, and I think it's inappropriate and insulting for you to make comments like that. We're all professionals trying to do our best to treat you, and you should realize it's in your best interest to treat us with the same respect you'd like to be treated with."
"Fair enough. But I think the women enjoy it too."
"Sir, no one enjoys dealing with your pressure sore. We deal with it because it's our job and we're trying to help you. But I assure you, dealing with open wounds is not anyone's favorite part of this job."
"Come on, how bad can it be back there?"
"Instead of answering that, I'm going to leave the room and go see another patient. You should be appreciative of the care you're getting. Have a good day."