* * Anonymous Doc: Can I have some pregnancy medicine?

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Can I have some pregnancy medicine?

"Doctor, I've been trying to get pregnant."

"Great."

"I've taken two pregnancy tests. They say I am not pregnant. I want to be pregnant. What else can I do?"

"How long have you been trying?"

"Two weeks."

"Okay, that's not nearly long enough for us to think you're having any sort of difficulty. Just keep trying and see what happens."

"Is there a medicine I can take to get pregnant?"

"No."

"I want a medicine."

"It's only been two weeks. Your body ovulates once a month. You may not have even ovulated yet, while you've been trying."

"I was on the birth control pill. Then I stopped two weeks ago. Now I am trying to get pregnant."

"If you were on the pill until two weeks ago, then you really need to be patient. It takes some time for your body to adjust and for you to start ovulating. Just be patient and keep trying."

"Maybe I am too old to have a baby?"

"You're 24. You're healthy. Just give it some time."

"But I really want to be pregnant."

"I understand."

"When should I take the next pregnancy test?"

"You don't need to take a pregnancy test. You may get your period."

"And then I should take a pregnancy test?"

"No. If you're not smoking, or drinking, or anything else you wouldn't be doing if you were pregnant, there is no urgency to know if you are pregnant, and you're wasting your money on pregnancy tests."

"I get them at the dollar store."

"Then you're wasting your time, and a little bit of money. And I'm not sure I'd trust those tests anyway, but it doesn't matter. You're not smoking or drinking, right?"

"Not much."

"Well, let's make that 'not at all' if you actually want to be pregnant. You don't need to take pregnancy tests. And two weeks after stopping the birth control pill is way, way, way too early to be worried about this. Just be patient and see what happens."

"So no medicine?"

"Take a multivitamin with folic acid."

"But no real medicine?"

"You know that to have a baby, you and your husband need to be having sex, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"Okay, I'm just making sure."

5 comments:

  1. Lol. I'm sure I'll come across this type of patients many times, once I start residency.

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  2. Lets just hope they don't come back and punch ya in the face saying, "What are you, some kind of wise guy?"

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  3. "So I will keep trying, doctor. (pause). When should I book my next appointment with you, in two weeks?"

    "I meant you should start expecting to be able to become pregnant sometime after that"

    "I also wanted to know whether using condoms with lubricant can hurt the conception process?"

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  4. I'm not sure providing advice re: how to become pregnant to this patient is doing the human gene pool any favors. Scary.

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  5. I'm not sure providing advice re: how to become pregnant to this patient is doing the human gene pool any favors.

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