Just trying to be helpful...

"Pssst!" whispered the patient as I was leaving the double room after examining his roommate. "Pssst!"

"Do you need something?"

"Shhhh. Come over here."

"What do you need?"

"He sneaked in food. His wife brought him a cheeseburger."

"Um... thanks?"

"No problem. I'm here for you."

***

"Pssst!"

"What is it?"

"Shhh! Come over here!"

"The other doctor didn't wash her hands."

"Um... okay?"

"No problem. Just trying to help."

***

"Pssst!"

"Sir, you don't need to be my informant."

"Come over here."

"What is it now?"

"You need to change the passcode on the door to the call room--"

"How do you know it's called a call room--"

"It's 3-7-2-4. The guy down the hall sneaked in and took a soda."

"There's soda in there?"

"Someone brought in soda and some leftover sandwiches. And that patient went in and took one."

"I don't know what to do with that information. I wish you'd just worry about your own issues."

"I'm doing you a favor. I know the code, I could go in there and take a soda too, but instead I'm telling you."

"Okay. Thank you for trying to be helpful."

"You're welcome. Don't I get a reward?"

"Uh... what do you want?"

"A soda and a sandwich."