Anonymous Doctor

"I just have to ask a few standard questions. Have you been tested for HIV?"

"I'm a priest!"

"I know. But it's not just about being sexually active. HIV can be spread through shared needles, bodily fluids... I have to ask."

"I have been tested for HIV."

"You're saying you have been tested--"

"Yes. It was negative."

"And you were tested because you've been... sexually active?"

"Shhhh. Yes."

"With men? Women? Both?"

"Both."

"Okay. Would you like us to test you again?"

"Yeah, sure, that's fine."

"Have you had any new partners recently?"

"Yes."

"Okay. And you came to the clinic for what reason today?"

"I was hoping to get some pain relievers."

"Is there a specific medicine you've been taking?"

"Morphine. But I ran out, so I've been buying it from other sources."

"You've been buying morphine?"

"Well, I've been buying heroin. But they're basically the same, right?"

"Sir, you really shouldn't be using heroin. Or having unprotected sex."

"There are a lot of things I shouldn't be doing. Are you going to give me the morphine, or do I have to go to a different clinic?"

"I think I need to talk to my attending."