Someone tell me why I'm still watching Grey's Anatomy.
And especially at 8AM on my only day off of the week.
Okay, I don't need you to tell me, because I know. I'll watch anything. What else am I going to do at 8AM on my only day off? My body can't sleep past 8 anymore. I'm lucky I can even sleep this long. I had a dream about my patients. I'm always having dreams about my patients. Nightmares, really. I forget to put in orders. I get in trouble. People die because of me. And I wake up panicked until I realize it was only a nightmare.
So, Grey's Anatomy. I can't do it. I can't sit through an episode without wanting to pick it apart, every little moment that makes. no. sense. if you've ever worked in a hospital. Or even been in a hospital.
If you don't want to be spoiled about the plot, stop here-- this is this week's episode, from Thursday, that I'm writing about. And I'm not even giving away any of the real plot, just the stupid medical stuff that's really incidental to what the show is actually about. But I don't care about Christina and Derek and whether Christina's ever going back to work-- as if a residency can just lose a resident mid-stream without repercussions, and as if they would really hold a spot for her-- and as if everyone would care! How do they have time to care? They're surgical residents!
But that wasn't the point I wanted to make.
First of all, scheduling same-day hip replacement surgery for a patient who walks in to be checked out. Nope. Never. No way. Makes no sense. No pre-surgical testing? No advance notice to book an OR and get a team together? No fasting for the patient? Etc. No way. Nonsense. And then he goes and gets a second opinion-- again, the same day!-- and then comes back to have the surgery, because of course her calendar is still open and there's still an available OR. They compressed a couple weeks of time into what we're supposed to think took half a day. Insane.
Meredith at one point says she spends her days off in the hospital. I had to pause and go back for a second. She says "I have days off, but I spend them here," or something like that. Nope. Sorry. What do you do, wander the halls distracting the people who are working? Do you have so little going on in your life that you can't bear to actually take your days off and sleep, or don't sleep, or-- anything-- but there is nothing for a doctor on a day off to do in the hospital but get in the way. So that's insane. Moving on...
The nurse who seems to know everything about post-op complications. I'm not going to argue with the idea that a nurse can be competent and know things the doctor doesn't-- nurses can be good, sure. But no patient is a particular nurse's patient, no nurse would be there to monitor a patient from surgery until five days post. They're on 8-12 hour shifts, they work 3 or 4 shifts a week, any particular patient is rotating through a number of different nurses, and it makes no sense to be able to say that all of the patients of nurse X do well because nurse X knows what he's doing. Great if nurse X is there when something's happening, but nurses Y and Z are going to be there too, and they're probably going to listen to the doctor even when the doctor wants them to do something bad for the patient, and it'll probably get done.
And attendings don't know nurses, or care. Nurses deal with residents, residents deal with attendings, the equivalent of Dr. Bailey would not be able to say something like, "sure, none of my patients who you're the nurse for ever have a complication," because Dr. Bailey won't have any idea what nurse is doing what, and she won't care.
What else? Doctors offering to marry patients without health insurance... and apparently there is no public hospital where the uninsured guy can get his surgery, I guess. Public hospitals exist. I'm there every day -- this month, at least. It may not be luxury, but we do treat patients. Patients who don't have insurance.
Okay, that's all that's coming to mind. I'm sure there was more, but I didn't take notes. Tune in next time, when I work myself up over the lack of hand-washing we see from television doctors when they enter patient rooms.