The ER resident pages me--
"Hey, you've got a new one waiting for a bed. We're not sure what the issue is, but we think he's got some pain and we're working him up."
"Yeah, we're having trouble communicating with him."
"Yeah... not really."
"Yeah... we think he's deaf, mute, and maybe psychotic."
"Yeah... doesn't seem to be able to read either. We wrote some notes and asked him to point, it's not really working. We wrote, 'point to where it hurts' and he pulled out his driver's license."
"He's deaf and mute and psychotic-- and has a driver's license?"
"Yeah, we're not sure what's going on."
"So you're basically admitting him just so you can pass him off to the floor team, and you have no idea what kind of problem we're dealing with."
"How do you know he's deaf?"
"Just seems that way."
"I'll be there in ten."