* * Anonymous Doc: Opening Questions To Bad Conversations

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Opening Questions To Bad Conversations

"Do you know where the morgue is?"

"Wait, how many pills did you give him?"

"Does the patient have any family you think might be likely to sue?"

"Oh, so this was the patient you were talking about?"

"Did it always look like that?"

"Was there a patient in here earlier?"

"Do you know if she's an organ donor?"

"Is there a way we could get that cleaned up before it causes any more problems?"

"Has it smelled this bad for a while?"

"I'm sorry, your fever was what?"

"Did you see if the teeth are in the closet?"

"You don't happen to know if your father had any undocumented allergies, do you?"

"So no one had checked his pressure since... Tuesday?"

"Your malpractice insurance is all paid up, right?"

"Are you sure that was a doctor who works here?"

"Did you mark the leg that was supposed to be cut, or the one that wasn't?"

"Are you sure it always looked like that?"

"You went to the bathroom how many times?"

"You haven't gone to the bathroom in how many days?"

"Wait, can you say that again, but trying not to slur your words?"

"Is she always this difficult to rouse?"

"Did you ever follow up on that?"

"Did you notice that last time you saw her?"

"Do you think the med school would even want a body in this condition?"

"Do we have beds that can support that much weight?"

"Did I just step in what I think I stepped in?"

"Did all of that actually come out of your body?"

"Does anyone know where the crash cart disappeared to?"

"Oh, was I supposed to be running this code?"

5 comments:

  1. thank you for an incredible laugh... OOOOH, i love these. - MS4

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