* * Anonymous Doc: "I was wiping my mother, and..."

Monday, April 15, 2013

"I was wiping my mother, and..."

"I was wiping my mother, and..."

"Yeah?"

"...and I found, you know those plastic things they put on clothing to keep people from stealing them?"

"Like, an anti-theft tag?"

"Yeah, the long, plastic things, with the metal clip that attaches to the clothing...."

"Okay...."

"Yeah, I found one of those when I was wiping her."

"Like, coming from inside of her, or like she had sat on it or something like that?"

"No, definitely from inside her."

"Those things are not small, right?"

"No, about three inches.  And sharp on the edge."

"But no bleeding, and everything else normal?"

"Yes, everything fine."

"And you're sure she didn't sit on one, and it was just stuck on her?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"So you're saying you think she swallowed one, and it passed through her?"

"I don't know!  Is that what you think?"

"There doesn't seem to be a lot of options if you're saying she passed it in her stool.  It had to come in from one end or the other."

"Oh, interesting."

"Did you recently remove something like that from any clothing in the house?"

"No, we don't steal clothing."

"I'm not accusing you of stealing clothing.  But it would have had to have come from somewhere."

"I don't know.  She never leaves the house."

"Well, if there was no bleeding and everything is normal, I wouldn't worry about it."

"I saved it.  But I accidentally left it at home.  Should I bring it next time?"

"That's okay.  I think you can throw it out."

"In the regular garbage?"

"I suppose."

"So you don't want to run any tests on it?"

"No.  If she's not having any problems, I think we can just chalk it up to an inexplicable accident, and cross our fingers that it doesn't happen again."

"You don't think it poisoned her?"

"Is she behaving strangely?"

"No."

"I think she'll be okay."

"If I find another one, what should I do?"

"If you find another one, you should look around the house for the source of these things."

"Do you think I need to call the plumber?"

"What?  What would the plumber have to do with this?"

"I don't want these things to stuff up the toilet."

"Okay, let's just try and pretend none of this happened, and move on to the next issue."

1 comment:

  1. oh dear! I hope you're archiving these for a book.

    ReplyDelete