* * Anonymous Doc: The Unologist

Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Unologist

"So what brings you here?"

"I want to see this kind of doctor."

The patient hands me a sheet of paper.  It says, in large capital letters, U N O L O G I S T.

"You mean a urologist?"

"No.  A unologist."

"Okay.  What is the problem related to?"

"I feel a tingling sensation."

"Where do you feel this sensation?"

"In my penis."

"All the time?"

"No.  Once or twice a month."

"Okay.  For how long?"

"Fifteen years."

"Are you sexually active?"

"I don't know."

"Is there any particular thing you are doing when you feel the tingling sensation?"

"Yes.  It happens when I wear a certain pair of pants."

"Maybe you shouldn't wear those pants."

"I like those pants."

"Maybe those pants are causing the problem."

"They are very tight pants."

"Yes, perhaps that is the problem."

"I would rather hear that from a unologist."

"You don't need to see a urologist."

"No, I need to see a unologist."

"There is no such person."

"Can you give me a referral?"

[Long silence]

"Yes.  I can give you a referral."


  1. Please try to get a report from the unologist. I would really like to know what their take is.

  2. Who did you refer him to, Dr. Seuss? He might or might not have been an unologist?

    And who has the same pants for 15 years? Tingly pants at that...

  3. you referred him to psychiatry... didn't you