* * Anonymous Doc: Nope, still not happening.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Nope, still not happening.


"...so I really think we should try that experimental treatment I read about on the Internet."

"Sorry, patient, we don't do that treatment here.  And we don't think it's effective.  So that's not going to be part of the plan.  Sorry."

"...but I really want it."

"Not here, not from us.  Sorry."


"...so, I was hoping you'd thought more about that experimental treatment we talked about."

"Nope.  Like we said yesterday, not part of what we do here.  You're free to go elsewhere for your treatment if you'd like, but we don't do the experimental treatment, and we don't recommend you seek it out, because we don't believe it will positively impact your chances of recovery.  But it's up to you.  We're happy to let you go elsewhere."

"...but I want to stay here, and get that treatment."

"That's not going to happen, I'm sorry."


"...so I know we talked yesterday about plans for that experimental treatment."

"Nope, we did not.  Not happening here.  Sorry."

"...I thought the other doctor said we could explore it."

"Nope, there is no other doctor.  You only spoke to us, and we said we're not doing that."

"...I really thought we said we were going to try it."

"We did not say that.  Sorry.  We never said that."

"...I'm only staying here to get that experimental treatment."

"Then you should go.  Because we don't do that treatment.  We're happy to release you to go elsewhere for your care."

"...no, I'd rather just stay here, and do that treatment here, like we talked about."

"We did not talk about that, sorry.  Not happening, no matter how many times you mention it."

"...but I've barely even mentioned it."

"Nope, that's not true."

"...and when I did mention it, you said we could do it."

"Nope, did not say that."

"...maybe we should talk about it tomorrow."

"Great.  I'll see you tomorrow."


  1. Oh yes....I have had that one. Better yet, when they say that the referring doctor said that not only could we do it, we could do it for the low low cost of $40. Then you realize the reason that they look familiar is because YOU were the referring doctor. That is what happens when you work at a referral hospital AND at a day clinic.

  2. Someone just forwarded me your blog. I was only going to read the first or second entry. Why? Because I am already a physician, I've already been there, done that, 15 years ago. Why do I want to spend my one 'free hour' between dinner, homework, 300 emails, 8 non-urgent "emergency after hours phone calls" kids baths and bedtime activities reading about a third year resident's blog?

    So I read. And read some more; yelling some quotes to my husband one couch over because he can't hear me over the banter of the TV and the kids. And pretty soon I've read the whole darn page. Thanks for using up my hour, and making me laugh, and reminding me why I went into peds and not adult medicine :)