My pregnant, virgin daughter

"My daughter hasn't gotten her period yet. I want to make sure she isn't pregnant."

"She's ten years old."

"So?"

"[Daughter], are you sexually active?"

"No. I keep telling her, ew, that's gross."

"I don't think she's pregnant. Especially since she has never had her period."

"But she's getting fat. I want to see if it's a baby."

"I think it's probably just normal weight gain."

"Are you gonna do the test or not?"

"I can do the test, I'm just telling you I don't think she's pregnant."

"Well, do the test-- and do one on me too, while you're at it."

"You think you're pregnant?"

"Who knows, I just figure it's one co-payment instead of two."