Anonymous Doctor

"My stomach hasn't been feeling well since this afternoon."

"Did you eat anything funny?"

"Well, now that you mention it, I had some chicken that didn't look exactly right."

"What didn't look right about it?"

"It was sort of pink in the middle."

"Okay. Your symptoms are starting to make a little bit of sense."

"Really? You think it was the chicken?"

"Could be."

"I also had a pretzel wrapped in a hot dog."

"What?"

"Oh, sorry. I mean a hot dog wrapped in a pretzel. It was pink too. Is that okay?"

"Hot dogs are pink, yeah."

"I thought maybe because you said the chicken shouldn't be--"

"No, chicken shouldn't be pink. But hot dogs are pink."

"I also had a funnel cake."

"Were you at an amusement park, or a state fair?"

"No, I was at home."

"You make funnel cake at home?"

"Sure."

"Did you eat anything else?"

"Just a couple of candy apples."

"I'm going to set you up with the nutritionist after this food poisoning subsides, if that's okay."

"Oh, I already have a boyfriend."

"No, not for a date. For an appointment."

"I know what to eat."

"I'm not sure you do."

"One of my friends said you can give me cookies if I ask."

"We're going to skip the cookies until you stop vomiting, if that's okay."

"I guess."

"Thanks."