Anonymous Doctor

"I'm all prepped for my colonoscopy, Doc."

"Yeah?"

"Yep, I drank all of that stuff. I was on the toilet all night!"

"That's great."

"I'm all cleaned out. It was pretty terrible, but I know how much you wanted me to get the colonoscopy."

"Yep, it's important."

"So where do I go for the test?"

"What?"

"Where do I go?"

"You go to the endoscopy suite-- what time is your appointment?"

"I don't remember. Can you check in the computer?"

"Sure, but you're sure it's today? I don't know if they're usually able to schedule the tests on the same day as you have a regular appointment."

"I sure hope it's today. Hey, Doc, can I use the bathroom while you check the computer? There must be some stuff still left inside me."

[I go to the computer and check. I come back.]

"I'm so sorry to have to tell you this. Your colonoscopy appointment is in January."

"But I don't have to drink that stuff again, right?"

"Uh, not unless you don't eat anything until January."

"You're saying I shouldn't eat until January?"

"No. I was kidding. You have to drink the stuff again."

"Oh, man."

"I wish we could squeeze you in today, but I have no control over the scheduling. I'm really sorry you got the appointment time confused."

"You're sorry? I'm the one who went to the bathroom all over my bedroom floor."

"I'm really sorry."

"See you in January."