* * Anonymous Doc

Monday, May 16, 2011

We had to get our CPR re-certification over the weekend-- I ended up in a class with a bunch of different folks from around the hospital. One guy was completely freaking out the whole time, had no idea how to do any of this stuff. He was my partner in a couple of the exercises, and kept asking me for help, and I couldn't understand how he could be a doctor and be this awkward just dealing with mannequins, not even real people.

Finally, he realizes everyone's looking at him, and he says--

"I'm sorry, I know this is ridiculous. But I'm a pathology fellow. I don't know these heart rhythms and what you do with someone who's breathing. When I see them, they're done with all of this. Anyone needs CPR once I get them-- I send them back."

Okay then.


  1. Oh man... I love pathologists. So much.

  2. That's about par for the course where i taught CPR (large, prestigious Hospital in SouthEast). One time, i taught a class of all recently graduated Med Students in CPR. Half of them failed - for not being able to speak English. Even though we go over each question, out loud as a calss, and answer it, right before the test, they failed. And all of these kids went to school here, in the US. Asking the other intrusctors at my TC, this was not at all an uncommon occurrence. Now that I am doing office work at said big prestigious hospital, the quality of the English is getting worse, and the handwriting seems to trail off with it.
    I grew up with the same preconceptions as any other little kid: doctors are geniuses, they can do all the little stuff really well they just never bother to, etc. Now i am surrounded by arrogant residents who dont plan on spending day one past their residency in this country and equate that to not needing to learn the language. Not to sound xenophobic, its just that we stress all this "Hospitals need to fly just like the airlines". Airlines all have English as the mandatory flying language, in every ocuntry. It was agreed upon, now its enforced. Here at the hospital the language defiency is glossed over with terms like "diversity".
    Once again trying to avoid the language rant. But as for overall competency, that's lacking too. And one four hour session of mannequin groping every two years isnt going to change that. People need to practice, with real live people in real live stuations. IMNSHO, all urgent care professionals and especially anyone hoping to be a doctor should volunteer 200 hrs on the fire department to start out, and then a couple 12hr shifts per year after that.
    *And hey while were at it why not incentivize cops to cross train as paramedics. It took years to convince them to carry AEDS in their cars, but once there you couldn't take one back from a cop unscathed.

  3. i completely see this as being me in a few years.

  4. hahahahaaa. this totally made my night.