"So, I'm looking in the chart-- we said you'd bring in a stool sample this time?"
The patient opens up his backpack, pulls out a paper bag, tries to hand it to me. I put my hands up, take a step back.
"No, no, we'll give that to the tech-- the specimen cup is in the bag?"
He gives me a blank look.
"The specimen cup is in the bag-- the cup with the sample in it."
"Oh, you gave me a cup?"
"Last time, we gave you a cup."
"I must have forgot."
"So what's in the bag?"
"Just in the bag, plain?"
"And you carried this in your backpack?"
"Okay, I'm going to get the tech. Next time, just a little bit, in the sample cup. Not the whole thing, not lying in a paper bag. Okay?"