Anonymous Doctor

Inspired by events this past weekend... What a resident thinks about while a guest at a wedding:

** Isn't it amazing how all of these people are able to stand up without assistance?

** I wonder how many of the guests have cancers that haven't yet been diagnosed.

** Wow, no one has fallen yet on the dance floor!

** Those obese people should probably stop eating so many hors d'oeuvres.

** Do I really have this whole weekend off? I should probably check the schedule again, just to make sure.

** Was that a sneeze?

** Based on his toast, and what I know about how the bride and groom actually met, the best man seems like he would be a poor historian if he were a patient.

** I wonder if that pregnant woman is of advanced maternal age.

** Should I have ordered an MRI for that patient on Friday, and was I just cutting corners because I wanted to start my weekend?

** All these flowers... are probably harboring scores of bacteria.

** I hope no one chokes. Or, if someone does choke, I hope no one remembers that I am a doctor.

** And that makes six identified neurological problems, just at that one table!

** It's amazing how easy it is to forget that some places don't actually smell like the hospital.

** Bad dancing, or essential tremor?

** Hey, that guy with the drink in his hand is showing signs of liver failure!

** Oh, wait, I can actually touch this bathroom door without feeling like I'm going to give myself a staph infection.

** I wonder where the nearest trauma center is, and how many patients it can accommodate in case of a disaster between now and the wedding cake.

** I bet the bride would need stitches if she accidentally cut her finger with the cake knife.

** Speaking of the cake, are we sure the frosting was properly refrigerated?

** So if eighty people flew in for the wedding, and the average flight was two hours long, how many of them have a DVT?

** That woman definitely had a stroke. I should tell her.

** If I were working tomorrow, I would have had to go to sleep four hours ago.

** This white wine looks like the color of healthy urine.

** The red wine does not.

** The guy next to me is going to the bathroom so often he should probably be tested for diabetes.

** Those flower girls are going to grow up in a world where they have a life expectancy shorter than their parents.

** I'm glad that now the groom can be on the bride's health insurance plan.

** I am the least fun person here.