* * Anonymous Doc: "Yes, he's been like that for a while."

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

"Yes, he's been like that for a while."

I was called to do a consult on a patient in the hospital.  I walk in, and there's a private-hire aide sitting next to the patient's bed, doing a crossword puzzle.

It all seems a little too casual, as I take a quick look at the patient, and the patient is very clearly not alive.

"Oh, he's been like this all morning," says the aide.

"Yeah, he's not breathing."

"Yeah, all morning like this.  I don't know what's wrong."

"He's not alive."

"Oh, I'm going to go fill up the water pitcher.  Let me know what you think."

"He doesn't need water.  He's dead.  That's what 'not breathing' means."

"Yeah, you take a look.  I'll get him some water."

She leaves with the water pitcher.  She comes back-- by this time, I've brought another doctor in with me.

"Oh, another doctor too?  He is okay?"

"No, he's not okay!  He is not alive anymore."

"So you think it's not good?"

"It's as not good as these things get, unfortunately.  He is dead."

"Yes, I was concerned when he was looking like this before.  Should I give him some water?"

"No.  Stop with the water!  He is deceased.  Does he have any family to call?"

"They said they're planning to come visit Friday.  He still be in the hospital?"

"No.  There is no one for them to visit on Friday.  I don't think you're getting this.  He is dead."

"Yeah, he was not sleeping well.  But today, he sleep good."

"He's not sleeping.  He's dead."

"Okay, you do some tests, and let me know."


  1. Was English not this person's first language?

  2. no no no, I don´t buy it... there is just no chance of existence of such person...

  3. But of the same mental caliber as all of my mother's aides. Dense must be a job requirement.

  4. Beautiful plumage, the Norwegian Blue.


  5. So where was the RN assigned to this patient? Private duty aide aside there must still be a RN assigned who must be responsible for at least assessing the patient once in a while.

  6. Sounds like Consuela, the maid from the Family Guy:

    "No, No misser superman is he no here"