Anonymous Doctor

"...just one more thing, doc."

"Sure."

"I've been feeling heart palpitations."

"Okay... we'll start with the easy question. Are you using any drugs?"

"You mean drugs drugs, or medication drugs?"

"Either one. I mean, I have your list of medications-- are you taking something else?"

"Not really."

"Does that mean no, or yes?"

"Just some weight loss thing a nutritionist gave me."

"And it's called...?"

"Oh, it's unlabeled."

"Great. I think you should stop taking that."

"But I've lost 20 pounds."

"I can set you up with a nutritionist here. I think that would be better than taking some unlabeled supplement from someone else."

"But she says she's a good nutritionist."

"Does she have any sort of license or degree?"

"No, she's a nutritionist."

"There are degrees they can have that make them qualified to give advice."

"I don't think she believes in that stuff."

"I'm going to set you up with a nutritionist here."

"But I've lost 20 pounds!"

"But you're having heart palpitations!"

"But I've lost 20 pounds!"

"And there's no reason to think we can't come up with a safe regimen that will help you continue to lose weight without taking risks that unlabeled medication can instigate."

"I'm sure there was a label on it at some point."

"Great."

"I can ask her if she still has the label."

"Great."

"Does your nutritionist also do massage?"