"You're Dr. [me], right?"
"Yeah."
"I'm Judy, from the development office."
"Okay."
"You never responded to my e-mail."
"Sorry?"
"I sent an e-mail last month asking about some of your patients? I just thought I'd follow up in person."
"I'm sorry -- I don't remember --"
"An e-mail asking if any of your patients might be good candidates to give a gift to the hospital? You know, based on your understanding of their circumstances?"
"Oh, yes, now I remember."
[The e-mail went something like this:
Dear Fellow,
We are in the process of reviewing some patient records to see who might be worth reaching out to in order to inquire about a potential gift to the hospital. Please advise as to any knowledge you may have about each patient's financial circumstances or any lapses in care that may make them unfavorably inclined to respond to a call from us:
Jones
Miller
Family of Peterson (was his death preventable by us?)
Rogers
Smith
Family of Turner (do they blame us for his fall in the hospital?)
Wilson (there are two of this name in the system-- is yours the one who lives in [fancy suburb]?
Young
Thank you for your help. Any details we can use in our calls would be appreciated. If you have any other patients, living or deceased, you think would be amenable or have amenable families, please advise. Also let us know any potential issues you can foresee, or situations that we may need to address before they are willing to donate.
Thanks,
Judy]
"Sorry, I just wasn't comfortable discussing my patients like that."
"Oh, don't worry. We only use the information for fundraising."
"No, I understand that. Sorry."
"This is a really important initiative. Can I resend the e-mail?"
"Sure."
"Great. Thanks for your help."
"Is there a bonus program? Like, do I get a percentage of any money you raise from my patients?"
"No! That would be unseemly."
"Oh."
I found your blog just in time to see your last post where you said you'd stop for a while, so I`m glad I checked again and you are back in action!
ReplyDeleteLoyal reader checking in. Might be the creepiest post you've had in a long while. Dang pencil pushers [from a former pencil pusher].
ReplyDeleteWe're still here! So glad to have you back. And thank you for putting off the unseemly request to hand over patients to be financially exploited.
ReplyDeleteWe have definitely been waiting for your return, glad you're back.
ReplyDeleteSounds like fundraising is trying to be "donor-centric" and ensure they are delivering the "best donor experience." Sometime you have to "remind" (ok, "us" *sigh*) them that not to be a douchebag.
Glad your back, anyone following you on blogger or bloglovin will see your back in action.
ReplyDeletevicky
www.fiorefashion.blogspot.co.uk
I've been here all along, RSS never forgets. Hope everybody else comes back, and you manage to keep your nose clean.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're back!
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame that now one can't even receive medical care without 'marketers' calling trying to get a handout. Good for you!
always a pleasure to see a "new post" indicator in my "defunct blogs" folder :)
ReplyDeleteStill here!! Completely understand. I can't even handle bother to ask people to buy wrapping paper for my kids' school. :(
ReplyDeleteStill here as well -- was glad to see the "Anonymous Doc" folder in Thunderbird show a (1) after all this time.
ReplyDeleteSo *that* would be unseemly. Some people are amazing.
Good to have you back!
Susan in Berlin
(who wonders if she is your most far-flung reader)
So glad you're back!!!! Update on your love life, please? Those posts were always my favorites...and your bosses can't possibly object to that! :)
ReplyDeleteGlad you are back.
ReplyDeleteDitto the 'glad you're back'.
ReplyDeleteAnother regular reader here. Looking forward to reading more from you.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you're back!!!
ReplyDeleteYay! So glad you're back!
ReplyDeleteYay! Welcome back!
ReplyDeleteI'm still here, and still reading via the magic of RSS.
ReplyDeleteWhat a pleasant surprise - checking the site to see you have returned!
ReplyDeleteI am SOOOOOOOOoooooooo, soooooo, sooooooooo glad you're back. I have had your email address written on my fridge since Christmas because I was afraid you'd quit blogging here and I'd have to beg you for a link to a new blog.
ReplyDeletePlease stay forever.
Welcome back, you wonderful physician, you!
ReplyDelete*Playful Nudge*
This is a nice break from my procrastination. It's not like cardio is important for MS1, right?
Yay! Welcome back!
ReplyDeleteWelcome back...I opened the page and turned to my wife and said "New Anon Doc!" She immediately opened up the site too...glad you're back
ReplyDeleteWelcome back! So glad you're blogging again!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy to see you back! I missed your posts.
ReplyDeleteAnother loyal reader here (from down under). So glad to see you back and posting again! :)
ReplyDelete+1
ReplyDeleteOmg! You're back! I thought it'd never happen. Yay!
ReplyDeleteWelcome back. I have been...expecting your return. And finally you are here. All is right in the world.
ReplyDeleteANON, I started reading your blog 4 years ago. I went through much hardship, dropped out of high school, and clawed my way back up. I am applying for medical school in a few short months. There will never be enough words in the English language to articulate or convey how much joy and connection I feel when I read your blog. You will never understand how much positive influence (despite the hilarious often satirical content) your posts continue having on me. Through the laughter and the empathy, I see bits of reality of the profession through your unfiltered writing lens. I wish I could tell others in the real world how much an ONLINE BLOG means to me.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back, and please don't disappear again. It was a wonderful joy to see you transition from a scared amateur intern, into what appears a competent young (albeit a bit jaded - but hey, its residency..) fellow. I look forward (kinda) to follow through in your foot steps.