The Leg.

"I was really sorry to have to call you this morning to tell you that your mother passed away.  I know we all expected this, but I'm sure it's still very difficult."

"Yeah, sure, do you want her leg?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Her leg.  The prosthesis.  We were thinking we'd donate it, if you guys want it."

"I mean... it was fit directly to your mother... I'll have to ask someone else if there's any use for a used prosthesis...."

"Do you have a form so we can get a tax deduction for it?"

"I don't have a form, no."

"It's probably still worth almost as much as it was new, right?  Do you know what she would have paid for it if not for the insurance?"

"No."

"Do you think you could find that out?"

"Uh...."

"We also thought we'd donate her walker, if that has any value."

"We could probably use the walker for patients who don't yet have their own...."

"Great, can the hospital pay us anything for that?"

"No...."

"And we pre-paid for another week of television service.  How does that work?  Do you give us back that money, or are we allowed to take the TV for a week?"

"I'm pretty sure you can't take the TV.  You can ask the billing office about getting the money back."

"Great, great.  Do people get buried with their teeth, or do you guys want those too?"

"We don't need her teeth."

"But could we get a tax deduction if we leave them here?"

"I don't think that's something we usually deal with...."

"Is she still getting lunch?  Because we're kind of hungry, and I guess we could all split it if it's going to come anyway."

"No, they stop serving meals after a patient dies."

"Okay, well, just in case they've already set up the tray-- we'll still take it."

"I'll let them know...?"

"If there's a way to take it to go, that would be even better."

"I don't think...."

"Also, I assume she didn't eat much of her breakfast-- do we get a credit on the account for that?"

"Her meals were covered in the overall cost of her stay."

"Oh, is she still being charged for the room until we leave?"

"I don't...."

"It's fine, we're going.  We left the teeth on the pillow.  Take care, doc."

"Sorry again for your--"

"Bye."