* * Anonymous Doc: "Oh, no, we wanted a full doctor."

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

"Oh, no, we wanted a full doctor."

"So, I see it's your first time at the clinic."

"Yes.  You're not the doctor, are you?"

"I am."

"Oh.  We came here because we were told there were some very good doctors here, very experienced."

"There are.  I'm new.  I'm one of the fellows."

"Hmmm.  We wanted a full doctor."

"I'm a full doctor.  I'm just relatively new at it.  But I assure you, as a fellow I am consulting with more experienced doctors about your case, and in fact one of those doctors will be in to see you after I finish.  They make sure you're getting the right care."

"We just-- well, we would have kept going where we going if we thought we would get someone who hasn't even finished medical school yet."

"No, I finished medical school.  And residency.  I'm three years out of medical school.  I'm a full doctor.  Licensed and everything."

"You look young."

"I am younger than some of the other doctors here, sure."

"We wanted a doctor with experience."

"I can't force you to be my patient, but I can tell you that with a fellow it's like you get two opinions for the price of one, since I will be consulting with one of the more senior doctors during each of your visits."

"Why can't we just have the more senior doctor and you can watch?"

"That's not how they do it here."

"I think we probably made a mistake to come here."

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

"If we call again, can they assign us to an older doctor?"

"I'm not sure."

"We'll try."

"Good luck."

"You seem nice.  Maybe we'll see you in a few years, once you finish medical school."

"Great.  Thanks."

"Have a nice day.  Can you validate parking?"

"They do that at the front."

"Oh, I thought maybe they have you do that, since you're new."



  1. Ha ha ha ha!!!!

  2. Nice. Their loss and your gain!

  3. What?!? Your med school didn't make you take an elective working as a parking attendant ?! You missed out! Haha

  4. i think you have to raise a beard or mustache, wearing a pair thick glasses, it definitely will help...
    oh, by the way, a bald head is a plus+ LOL :p

  5. Ugh. My cheeks are burning for you. Thumbs up for being so cordial about it. I'm pretty sure my facial expressions would have betrayed. I mean, the stink eye was warranted AT THE VERY LEAST.

  6. Wow. So sorry Dr. Anon.

    My students make fun of me because I look younger than them, but I tell them that, yes, I am the teacher and *in an evil voice* I hold your GPA in my hands.

    But seriously, be confident. Stand up tall. Be the best doctor you can be. And, as my dad always told me, If someone says you look really young, just smile & say, Yes, well, I'm very tall for my age. That always gets a double take!!

    Or, you could take the attitude that you're doing the initial evaluation before the "big name experienced doc" comes in. Because, you know, if you want to be assessed by some super important doctor with tons of experience, chances are, he's going to delegate some tasks. (It doesn't make you sound as cool, but I've been a patient of some fellows who have said that.) The thing is, and I've found this as a teacher, once you start talking and actually doing your job, they'll figure out that you actually know a whole lot more than they do. The trick is to get to that place.

    Best wishes,

  7. Wow. Just wow. Same types of people want the best and most innovative health care but want it for FREE.
    I say if you are not paying for your health care (Medicare and Medicaid) then shut up and deal with students/residents/fellows.

  8. Perhaps you could have said you expected a full patient. But that would have been rude. However, not to side with the fucktard you had to deal with, I hate, absolutely HATE getting a med student when I go in for my diabetic check ups and other things. Yes I know you are NOT a med student. Carry on.

  9. Wow...you get some real doosies don't you.

  10. During intern year, I distinctly remember getting on an elevator at the hospital with a large, not very tall, middle aged woman. As I tried to ignore her gaze, she stared at me long enough to make even a Buckingham palace guard feel uncomfortable. Finally, she couldn't help herself and broke out, "Ohh, you look so cute in your little doctor outfit! Like you're about to go to a school dress-up party."

    After I shrank 2 inches in height that moment, I couldn't think of any witty response and walked off of the elevator. (I always had a secret urge to tell someone who said I "looked really young" that they "looked really old.") I guess you must take it in stride and move along, for this too shall pass.

  11. Bud, how is your lady friend doing? :p

  12. I have read your entire blog over the last week....I am a pre-med student. I am going to have to learn how to deal with moronic people, because I would have been fired for telling these people that you have dealt over the years, what I was thinking.

    It is truly amazing to me the level of stupidity in this world, and I just don't have the tolerance for it. I have been a patient, and spent all this June in the hospital and every healthcare provider I dealt with I treated with respect and did what I could do to make their jobs a little easier to deal with. The way I see it is my selfishness could easily cause someone elses pain and suffering, but some people are so DAMN narcissistic that they have to make the simplest task a train wreck.

    Sorry to rant I just hate DUMB people.