"...I also need a prescription for the extra strong multivitamins."
"Excuse me-- the what?"
"The extra strong multivitamins. Not the ones you get over the counter. The prescription strength."
"I'm sorry, sir-- I'm not aware of any such thing. If you want a vitamin, just buy one over the counter."
"Don't even pretend to tell me the over the counter ones are as good as the real thing."
"Those are the real thing."
"I'm willing to pay-- up to $150 a month for the good vitamins."
"Vitamins should not cost you that much."
"The pharmacist was giving me the good ones, for $150 a month. I just need a new prescription."
"Wait, the pharmacist was selling you some kind of vitamin for $150 a month?"
"Yeah-- they were helping, too. I don't want to have to go back to the regular kind."
"Sir, your pharmacist is either a drug dealer or a scam artist. He's stealing your money. I don't know what he's selling you, but if it's vitamins, he is ripping you off."
"No, not my pharmacist. Stop giving me the run-around."
"I'm not. What's the phone number of your pharmacy? I'll give them a call."
"Hi, I'm Dr. __________, calling about a patient of mine, Mr. ___________. He's asking me for some kind of prescription, telling me you're selling him vitamins for $150/month. What are you selling him?"
"What do you mean?"
"What are you charging him $150/month for? I know what vitamins cost."
"No, I don't think you understand how many vitamins he's buying."
"How many vitamins is he buying?"
"150 dollars worth."
"So, hundreds and hundreds of vitamins every month."
"Yes. I get them from the back. He doesn't like the ones on the shelf. Same kind, I just get the bottles from the back room."
"So he's crazy."
"Yes. Just write him some bogus prescription and I'll take care of it."
"I don't want him wasting his money."
"Well, I'm not just going to give him the vitamins for free."
"Okay, I'm going to write you a prescription, but these are really strong, and you can only take 1 a day, okay?"
"Wow, they must be good."
"Yep. And, even better, a hundred of them should only cost you like ten bucks. If they cost more, tell the pharmacist to give me a call and I'll give him the information about the discount code. Don't let him charge you $150. You get my special $10 rate."
"Oh, great. Thanks, doc."