* * Anonymous Doc

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

"No, I don't need a pap smear."

"What? You're 62 years old."

"I've never had sex. So everything is fine down there."

"That doesn't mean everything is fine down there. You still need the test."

"No, it's all like new. Untouched. No damage."

"You still need a pap smear. You're 62 years old."

"No, factory new. Clean and shiny. No test."

"You need the test."

"After sex, I will. Until sex, no thank you. Not needed."


  1. Wow - so many straight lines, so little restraint . . .

    - KriwW

  2. Maybe she's an attending in disguise.

  3. Wait...
    A pap is to check for cervical cancer, which is now thought to be caused by HPV, which is an STD. If there's zero risk of an STD, there's zero risk of complications of an STD.

    "You need the test" vs "Studies show..."

  4. warmsocks: I don't think HPV is believed to be the sole cause of cervical cancer. Thus, a pap is still reasonable. Also, it seems a bit incredulous that a 62-year old has never had sex (unless she's a nun).

  5. Anonymous: I'll admit it's not that common, but it shouldn't be that surprising to find people who aren't interested in having sex. It happens, actually I've run into a post that was keeping tabs on "venerable virgins" and the oldest there was born in 1942.

  6. This patient's risk of cervical cancer is extraordinarily low vs. the general population, especially if she's a non-smoker with no other risk factors. If I were her, I'd decline the pap, too, and the pelvic exam as well (which is pretty much worthless in asymptomatic women).

    It's an invasive, somewhat humiliating test, and it's her body.

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