So I'm on overnight last night, and finally get to lay down for some sleep in the resident call room.
The door opens.
I wake up, startled.
There's a lab tech standing over me.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, doctor. I didn't realize anyone was in here."
"How did you even get in? The door's locked."
"Oh, I have a trick."
"I really need to get back to sleep."
"Yeah, I'm so sorry."
And then a young woman, dressed for anything but a night in the hospital, peeks her head in the doorway.
"Yeah, we're sorry."
Who the heck she is, at this point I have no idea.
I try to go back to sleep.
Two minutes later, I hear noise in the room next door, which is the patient food preparation area. Some trays clanging, I don't know. I try to ignore it.
And then I hear the lab tech and the woman.
Uh, having a good time.
In the patient food prep room.
"No, no one can hear us," I hear him say.
"You sure it's okay?" she asks.
"Yeah, no one cares."
Sure, except the resident trying to sleep in the room next door. With the paper-thin walls.
For fifteen minutes I hear them. And the food trays. Every movement, every sound.
"Ew, don't put my underwear on that," she says.
Finally, they finish up.
And, finally, I fall back asleep. Was this is nightmare, or did it really happen?
"Did you see a lab tech and some girl go into the food prep room at four in the morning?" I ask a nurse.
"Oh, yeah, he does that all the time," she says.
"Why doesn't someone report him?"
"Oh, no, it's the most fun we have all night."