Irregular periods and premature ejacularies.

"I don't think the medicine you prescribed last time is agreeing with me."

"No?  What have you been feeling?"

"Well, I've been dizzy and lightheaded and haven't had much of an appetite."

"Okay, those are all potential side effects."

"I've also been having headaches and irregular periods."

"You've had something that seemed like a menstrual period?"

"If that's what I said."

"You're 77 years old.  You were having bleeding?"

"Bleeding?  No.  Dizzy, lightheaded, loss of appetite, headaches--"

"You're just reading off the list of side effects.  I have that list too.  Are you actually experiencing these things or you just don't want to take the medication?"

"No, I've had headaches, irregular periods, premature ejacularies, dry mouth--"

"I'm sorry, premature what?"

"Ejacularies.  I think that's what they're called."

"You're a 77-year-old woman.  And you're telling me you're having premature ejaculation?"

"I don't know.  Whatever I said."

"You don't want to take this drug."

"No.  I don't need it."

"So you're telling me you're having all of the listed side effects."

"Yes."

"Why don't you want to take this drug?"

"It's expensive!"

"Oh.  Do you want me to prescribe you a similar drug, that has a generic alternative?"

"Okay."

"Great.  Do let me know if you're actually having either a menstrual period or some sort of ejaculation, because then we may have to call the record books."

"Okay, thanks."