3AM page while I'm laying down in the call room. I call back--
"Doctor, I'm sorry to wake you."
"It's okay, what's up?"
"Patient in 1303 pulled his eye out of his socket."
"Pulled out what??"
"Um, I'll be right there?"
Don't ask. Just don't ask.
Amazingly-- amazingly, because I have only seen one thing grosser than this, and I'll save it for another post-- amazingly, the overnight ICU resident was able to put it back in place without any instantly-obvious consequences. Not for the squeamish.