Anonymous Doctor

Whenever a male patient around my age comes into the clinic, my mind immediately jumps to one possibility, because that's all any guy my age ever goes to the clinic for.

"There's a problem with my penis."

Today, my fourth "problem with my penis" patient.

We tested him. I'm sure he has something.

"Have you had multiple partners?"

"No, only three or four."

"That's a yes, then."

"No, I've only had a few."

"Okay, that's fine. You should use protection."

"Oh, I try sometimes."

"Okay. You should try harder."

"Just fix my penis."