Anonymous Doctor

We have a patient who, somehow, in the hospital, lost his dentures.

"I heard you lost your teeth," I asked. "How'd that happen?"

"Oh, one at a time, over the years."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean your real teeth. I meant your dentures."

[He feels his gums with his tongue.]

"Oh, I guess you're right. I have no idea."

Another patient, showed up to clinic. I look at his chart and see that last time he came in because he was bleeding from his penis whenever he ejaculated, which made me very excited to find out what was bringing him back here.

"I have a stuffed nose, doc."

"That's it?"

"Yep."

"Okay, great. How long has it been feeling stuffed?"

"Four or five years."

"Do you think it might be allergies."

"Oh, I was on allergy medication for a while, but I stopped it recently, and my nose became stuffed again. So I don't think it's that."

"I'm sorry, run your logic by me again?"

"I took the allergy medication, but when I stopped taking it, my nose became stuffed again. So it didn't fix anything-- it must not be allergies."

"No, the medication doesn't cure allergies, it just treats them. So when you stop taking it, the allergies come back."

"Then what's the point of the medication if it doesn't do anything?"

"It takes the allergy symptoms away, as long as you take the medication. It works as long as you continue taking it."

"So I have to take it forever?"

"As long as you want the symptoms to go away, I'm afraid you do."

"That's ridiculous."

"I'm sorry, sir. That's how the medication works."

"You mean that's how it doesn't work."

"If you want to think of it that way, I'm not going to argue with you."

"Oh, and also, there's another problem with my penis--"