"I've been going to the bathroom too much, doc."
"Um, how often is too much?"
"I think that's okay."
"Not for me. I don't like to go so often. Is there a way to make less poop?"
"No. I mean, everything that goes in has to come out."
"I think it's because I've been drinking too much water."
"No. Water becomes urine."
"No, I think in me it becomes poop. Because I don't really eat that much. But I still poop a lot. So it must be the water turning into poop."
"I think it does for me. Maybe that's just how my body works."
"So you're saying if I eat less, I will poop less?"
"I guess. But I'm not saying you should eat less. You need to eat enough calories. I don't want you to starve yourself because you don't like going to the bathroom."
"It would be nice to never have to go."
"I'm going to refer you to a gastroenterologist."