* * Anonymous Doc: Poop

Tuesday, July 9, 2013


"You mentioned fecal incontinence.  Describe what you mean."

"Every time I urinate, I also poop.  Even when I don't feel like I have to go."

"Every time you urinate, you poop?"


"Is it formed, or like diarrhea?"

"What do you mean formed?"

"Is it an actual solid piece of poop, or is it liquid?"

"I think I'd say solid."

"Like, how much are we talking about?"

"Like a small hot dog.  A pig in a blanket, without the blanket."


"Like the size of a baby corn, I guess."

"Got it."

"Like maybe three jelly beans long."

"Okay, you can stop comparing it to food now."

"It's like the squiggle of toothpaste I put on the toothbrush."

"No more comparisons-- we're good."

"Like a cashew nut."



  1. He was doing that on purpose. I don't know why people think it's amusing to disgust another person. I typically will walk away but you don't have the luxury of doing that in a doc/patient relationship.

  2. omg, this is very gross conversation, haha...
    i guess you probably dont want hot dog, baby corn, jelly beans, and cashew nuts in the coming a few days...
    oh, maybe you should use mouth rinse instead of the the squiggle toothpaste...lol
    just kidding...your blogs make me laugh a lot...

  3. Well, its not like medicine isn't filled with food references everywhere already! Bread and butter heart, blackcurrant stool, burger sign, blueberry muffin baby...etc.