Anonymous Doctor

Quick quiz:


1. There are two patients who need an MRI, and it's already 3:15. Who gets it?

A. The young man without health insurance.

B. The old woman on Medicare.

C. Neither, because the MRI machine isn't working.

D. Neither, because not only do we think the MRI machine isn't working (we can never be sure), it's already 3:15 and you know the technicians leave at exactly 5:00-- so it's not worth taking the risk that we get the patient down here and prepped only to realize we don't have enough time to finish the test before the clock runs out. So let's just leave it for tomorrow morning. Or the next day. Whenever. You know, who cares.


2. It seems like there's a patient who wasn't included on the sign-out list for night float. And you're night float. What do you do?

A. Call the resident who did the sign out, and see if she accidentally forgot to include the patient. Get the information over the phone and add the patient to your list.

B. Check the chart yourself, since there's no reason to necessarily bother a resident who just worked a 14-hour shift. Get the information from the chart and add the patient to your list.

C. E-mail the entire residency program, including all of the attendings, complaining that some residents are sloppy with their sign-outs, and recommend that your colleague be kicked out of the program. Deny sending the e-mail when confronted the next morning. Ignore the patient, out of spite, because she wasn't included on the sign-out list.

D. There's a patient who wasn't included on the sign-out list? Shhhhh. What patient? Shhhh. There is no patient.


3. The attending asks you why your patient's labs haven't been checked in six hours, even though she says she ordered them stat this morning. You don't remember seeing any order like this, but you also don't feel like checking the chart. Who do you blame?

A. Phlebotomy.

B. The nurses.

C. Your intern.

D. The fellow.


4. Your co-resident has a family emergency and wants to switch days off. You had no plans for either day (or any day, now that you think about it). What do you do?

A. Offer to switch.

B. Offer to switch, if he'll take three of your overnight shifts as compensation.

C. Offer to switch, and then take the day off anyway and deny you ever offered to switch, or have any idea what your co-resident is talking about.

D. Send an e-mail to the entire residency class telling them how lazy your co-resident is.


5. Your pager goes off. You are sleeping. Which of the following things do you do to your pager?

A. Turn it off.

B. Remove the batteries.

C. Smash it with a baseball bat.

D. Flush it down the toilet.


Share your answers in the comments.