I accidentally touched a patient's feces.
I was doing a rectal exam, and I was taking off the gloves... and my hand slipped... and... feces.
I don't know how I'm ever going to feel clean again.
And it seems terrible to obsess over it.
But we're only human.
And just because I'm a doctor doesn't mean I can't get just as disgusted by what comes out of people's bodies as everyone else.
At least I'm not a nurse.
I have to see blood and urine and semen and feces and pus and mucus and all sorts of other nastiness.
At least I'm not doing OB.
Because watching someone give birth was truly horrifying.
But seeing the things I've seen on people's genitals in the clinic is almost as bad.
Seeing the things I've seen growing all over my patients.
Rashes, warts, pimples, cysts, blisters, pustules.
At least I'm not a podiatrist.
Because feet are pretty terrible.
Fissures and fistulas.
I did a rotation in medical school shadowing a doctor whose entire practice was the surgical repair of anuses.
No, I think it's anuses.
I can't believe I touched a patient's feces and now I'm touching the keys on my computer with those very same hands.
I have washed so many times, my skin is raw. I used an entire bottle of Purell.
Travel-sized, but still.
Why couldn't I have become an accountant?