"I'm looking at your records and it doesn't look like you've ever had a pap smear. You're of the age we really ought to make sure everything's okay. Would you like to schedule that for next time?"
"That is a test of the anus?"
"No. The other side."
"No. The vagina."
"Oh. And you do what there?"
"We take a sample of cells from the area around the cervix and make sure everything looks okay."
"No thank you."
"No, I didn't mean now. I meant we'll do it next time."
"No. We won't. I'm going to leave now."